I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
