You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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