well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
