i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
