ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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