I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
