What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
