NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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