so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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