We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
