I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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