One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
