nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
