Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sober January is a disaster.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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