so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
