people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
