this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
