Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
