four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
