and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
