u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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