better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
