im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
