Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
