Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
