The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
