I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
