that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
