I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
