oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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