Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
