i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
