he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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