am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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