Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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