So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
