we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
