She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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