those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
