He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
