So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
