At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
