Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
