she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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