I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
