I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I hate all girls vehemently.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
not ubering you a puppy
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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