So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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