i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
