woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
