my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
