can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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