dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
zippers are such a cool invention
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
