Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
