They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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